Suicide, death of a Soul

Suicide, death of a Soul

By: Masarrat A Shah                                                                                  

Post Picture: Google

Well, I am tired of this world, the people and the society. Everyone has got their own opinion and prejudice where they are not ready to accept me or listen to me or say understand me. Why should I live here, where no one is bothered of me being here or not?

Every day we hear the stories about Suicide, on news channels, in newspapers, on social media, and to my surprise we have seen people committing this extreme act LIVE on Facebook. I wonder what makes them do it, what is going through their mind at that time when they are making themselves, their body and their soul go through such a painful act or process. Do they listen to themselves, or do they pause for a moment and rethink about the consequences after this step is completed, will anyone be bothered, or am I hurting someone by making them part of this pain?

When an individual takes the step of ending his/her life and saying goodbye to people and loved ones and feeling pain and agony of leaving them, have anyone thought Why, this step. But yes, we hear the news and for few minutes we express sadness and empathy with that individual, and in a second thought we curse him/her. We start judging, saying that how cowardly act he/she did, a looser not able to handle the situation, rather than facing the consequences, the person took easier way to run away from the issues and life and left his loved ones to suffer. Well, most of the people say, why was not help asked, like psychiatrist, counselor and so on. He/she should have talked to someone rather than hanging or taking poison and so on.

But my question is who is responsible for this act of what you call cowardliness or being looser, who should we blame, is this blame going to only that individual who suffered so much and said enough is enough and I cannot handle it anymore. Who made him think that and act on it? Why was not anyone there to listen and care and guide him or her. Was there anyone to empathize, forget about sympathy? And I am sure the answer is “NO”. What we as people or society do is talk, talk and talk and pass comments and make judgments. We are so inhuman that we don’t even care to think before we say it.

If a person is happy and content with his or her life, why will there be a question or thought of ending life or being rejected by society. But what happens is when an individual goes thru hell because of another person then the issues arise. Everyone is stressed, angry, irritated and displeased with some or the other person in life. Whether it is love relationship, parent relationship, employee manager relationship, marriage problems and so on. Just because there is some disconnect and misunderstanding and miscommunication between two individuals there is a chaos. We are seeing everyday fights, abuses and what not happening in homes, offices and at workplaces. People being Judged, Racism, Bias, Cast attacks and what not. And there are people who handle it to some extent but at one point they loose it and water starts flowing over their head and where they start hating everything and when that brim of patience is broken, they either think to finish themselves or that person who is the reason for the whole mess. So, there is a trigger point, someone is taking that individual to that edge where the extreme step takes place of either Murder or Suicide, where I believe both of these are “Murders”.

So, who is responsible for this Murder in either case? Not that person but us as a society is responsible for a person to take such a heinous and extreme step. As a society we actual are murdering that person, where we say a suicide was committed. Now what happens people start, or law makers start looking for suicide note left behind by that person. Yes, we see and have seen and heard enough notes where the deceased had mentioned, “for my death no one is responsible, I am myself responsible for taking my life”, why does that person say that because he knows that there is no hope, who all will they punish where whole society is actually responsible for this crime, for this murder of me. He/she is done with the society and the fake empathy and kindness of people or who were “Loved Ones”.

We all are hypocrites, running from the reality and living in some fantasy world. Seeing movies and the glamorous life in reel life, we feel that’s the life we want and try to copy and live. But sorry friends that’s not the way we live, understand the real world. We all need respect, love and compassion. Our society and world needs peace and tranquillity where all live equally and there is no racism, bias and prejudice. Because of our inhumane attitude and loosing ourselves in virtual, social media and AI world we are losing our loved ones, our friends and dear ones. Stop this madness and love each other, talk to each other, show care and compassion and sort things rather than fight on things.  Everyone has trouble, issues and disagreements but they can be resolved and worked out if and only if we show real consciousness and compassion. Suicide is not a Solution; it is an easy way to end misery of life.

Well, yes, I want to live and be happy see the world and be successful person. Yes, I want to love and be loved with real passion and zeal. But don’t judge me, misunderstand me and leave to my own self. Please listen to me and try to talk to me, maybe we will find the solution, and which will support me to prove myself and be better human being, better person and make this world better and peaceful place. Show me some respect and you will get abundance in response. Lastly, I know suicide is crime, a sin, very ugly and heinous sin and I don’t want to take that step, but be there for me when I need and help me to understand rather than throwing me in my depressed hole where I have no one to listen and talk.

 

“The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” — Dalai Lama.

 

 

 

 

Life After Lockdown

As more and more Countries are opening up and easing the Lockdown and letting the economy get started with opening of businesses and industries with the realization that we cannot just sit locked forever as this invisible enemy is going to be with us for long and we have to start adapting to new changes and new way of life.

Now, we all are excited to get out of our dens and visit our favorite cafe’s, meet friends, be at work with colleagues and have that sip of morning coffee with them. Sounds exciting, but I want to say something which I feel is important for all, that is, ask yourself “What is Important for me?”.

Yes, before you get engrossed in your daily routine life think what is important for my life, is it my family, my health, my kids, my job, what matters to me. Doing the retrospect of importance then step out of your house and start new life. Because when you know what is important to you, then only you will take proper precaution and be mindful about how to keep yourself safe, because if you won’t, I am sure not today but someday you will be infected as no one is safe.

Be safe and stay alert for your family, kids, people who care for you. Most important for yourself, because if you are Infected everything you have around will be Affected. THINK….!

– Masarrat A Shah

#encouraging

I Can Breathe!

Now, see Mother Earth is breathing,
Now, see Birds and Trees are breathing,
All the destruction is caused by us,
Every chaos and disruption is caused by us,
We the humans are culprits of every mess,
Hope we correct our actions and stop this mess,
If we ignore the damage caused,
What is the use of us being locked,
Now, we need to be awake and aware,
Now, we need to think and realize.
—- Masarrat A Shah

 

What if we are going to Die Tomorrow?

Well, we all are so busy with our daily lives and our busy routines and we forget about things around us or we don’t care about what is going around us or in our society. All are running for their bit and making sure that whatever is their job, we do that better and on top of that make sure no one else goes ahead, which we call Competition and I say Rat Race.

How many of us really think about, what if I was not alive tomorrow or what if I face sudden death. And we all may have seen or heard of such instances, I have heard and even lost my friends. Today he is with me at work and we are sipping coffee, chatting in cafeteria, giggling cracking jokes and the next day he is no more, a sudden death and a total shock for all friends, family, colleagues. What happened, did that person knew he was about to die or his time was over, no he didn’t nor we knew, moreover we don’t want to know. All of us are occupied with thoughts of investments, jobs, hikes, growth, vacations, just planning and planning and planning and no idea about the end, a closure of mind and heart, loss of soul in void and our spirit which will be hanging somewhere in skies between Heaven and Hell, and to tell you about this, there are various stories where the Spirit will go after leaving one’s body.

Why am I writing this article on death, why this thought came to me, what made me start thinking about this area. Only, reason is me seeing people leaving us or going to leave us anytime. Can I ask you a question, how many times in a day you think about death? Do we? No, we don’t, we should because we don’t know when we are going to breathe our last breath. What if we knew when we are going to die, have you ever thought or imagined, say, we would have been made aware at time of birth or any stage of our life that, here is your date of death with time and place. What will you do then, stop living, stop caring about others or about yourself, stop caring or thinking about things which I discussed earlier, job etc. Or, will we start, living more, give our best to the people around us, be more caring and loving. Forget about caste, creed, religion and stop being racist, love all and be more understanding, and respectful towards family, people, community, society and friends. Will be more motivated individuals to spend the best of us in this limited time on Earth.

You know what do some of those changes look like? When reminded of death, we treat those who are like us in looks, political slant, geographic origin and religious beliefs more favorably. We become more contemptuous and violent towards people who do not share those similarities. We profess a deeper commitment to romantic partners who validate our worldviews and we tend to be more calm and spiritual and peaceful. Reverse can also happen we can become more careless, nihilistic, start drinking, smoking, eating whatever we want and so on because we don’t care now. Society will change, norms will change, how people think about religion and other areas will change.

Start, thinking and remembering about death, what if nothing is with us tomorrow. Stop hating each other and pulling each other down be at work, in political system, at your office, around your society. Be humble, calm and peace-loving individual, give your best at any side of your life or any job you are doing, be honest and transparent. We are not on this Earth forever, no one is. So, why do we need unhealthy competition, racism, corruption, religion divides, communal-ism. Why all these negative thing, for what. Stop spreading hate on Social Media, spreading fake news. Use Social Media for spreading Peace, Love and Harmony. Discuss positive things, good stuff and motivate others to live in the happiest possible way.

Hatred is corrosive of a person’s wisdom and conscience; the mentality of enmity can poison a nation’s spirit, instigate brutal life and death struggles, destroy a society’s tolerance and humanity, and block a nation’s progress to freedom and democracy. – Liu Xiaobo

Mental Health @ WorkPlace

On World Mental Health Day, which is organized by WHO all over the globe on October 10th, I was invited by Amity Institute of Psychology & Allied Sciences (AIPS), Amity University, Noida as they were celebrating this day and had organized various Workshops and Seminar.

With me were eminent speakers from various fields like Medicine, Media, Education etc. So, me being from Corporate World was invited to speak on Mental Health at Workplace. There were around 200 students listening to us and as they are our future Counselors and Psychiatrists, the emphasis was given on, as to how to fix the issue, how to understand a person who is suffering from mental health issue and how to make that person accept the fact that there is no harm in accepting it and fixing it.

We all are aware that in our Corporate we work under lot of pressure and deadlines hang on us like nuclear bombs. Customers have lot of expectations and want everything to be delivered within no time, as they are on the other side facing competition from their competitors same as we are facing pressure. So, everyone is running in this hush and rush and wants deliverables to be delivered before even when they say, is it complete.

Now, what is happening in this “Mad Rush”, we are getting burnt out as Employees and as Employers, forget about Physically but mainly Mentally. And getting mentally exhausted is one of the main for our health issues, anxiety, depression, appetite loss, insomnia and so on. People are becoming suicidal and give-up due to various reasons. According to survey taken by ASSOCHAM, 42.5% of corporate employees in India suffer from Depression. Nearly, 38.5% of employees sleep less than 6 hours a day, causing diseases like depression, hypertension, sugar etc. Half of these severe mental disease aren’t getting treated, because no one wants to accept that they are suffering from these diseases because of mental health, people are running away from accepting this fact. According to WHO, the total estimated number of people living with depression increased by 18.4% between 2005 and 2015.

What is the cause of this all, why do we need 2 – 3 Ambulances on standby outside our offices. I myself have taken my colleagues to Hospital when they collapsed in Bangalore and I was surprised to see that in Emergency ward during working hours they see mostly cases from Corporates, isn’t this alarming.

Now, what causes this and according to me the reasons are:

  •  Friction and unhealthy relationship with your Superiors/Managers
  • Not good relationship with our Peers and Colleagues, reason competition and jealousy
  • Mixing your Personal and Professional life and not drawing a line with the two
  • Very high demand for performance and work pressure
  • Majorly, in present scenario where we have Job Insecurity
  • Work Family conflict is also one factor

We should try to be as positive as we can, our mental health and our thinking power is within us and only we can fix it ourselves. When one thinks Positive and believes in himself/herself and has self-confidence things work accordingly. One needs to set the priority, which means one should know what is Time Management, should manage the time very efficiently.

Most important, do not compete with others whether at work or anywhere, when you start competing you forget about your ideas and priorities and start running without any goal. One should compete with your own self, and set targets when to reach where and you will do wonders.

Finally, remember “Your Thoughts are Your Things” what you think you will get it, so think good, healthy and positive. Be Optimistic and don’t let pessimism come in your way.

Peak Distraction

2018 is here and time is going by so fast that we don’t even realize what happened when and why. It was December and I was saying to myself, wow 2017 is over. We are so busy with our daily routine and things around us that what is going on and what is our priority sometimes speeds away from us, why because all of us are running in a marathon where there is no end, most of the people are in this marathon even without goal.

What are we doing, why are we getting deprived of mental peace and have no satisfaction of what we do. I have an answer for this, the only reason we are losing our mental peace is because of unnecessary DISTRACTION. And this distraction is not only taking our mental peace away but with it we are losing our friends and running our relationships, I should say “we are failing ourselves”.

So, what is this distraction which is acting as enemy of our life, which is taking our peace and not letting us enjoy and relax. This uninvited entity has taken so much space in our lives that we don’t think of anything else except using and being with it. The main areas where we have lost interest because of this uninvited friend is:

  • We eat but, we don’t eat as we have full concentration on this friend
  • We are with friends, physically but mentally we are not with them as our mind has been occupied by this unknown friend
  • We are watching movie or TV; however, we don’t know what we are watching as we are watching stuff what our uninvited friend is sharing
  • We are with our loved ones who care for us and love us, but alas, this friend who has taken toll on mind and life is taking us away from them and making us loose them
  • Most of hours in our daily life goes with this bugger, this Mr. Distraction

Who is this, what is this distraction have you figured out by now, about whom I am talking. Yes, you are right it is none else than our Mr. Smartphone, our Peak Distraction.

Smartphone has become the most dangerous distraction of our lives, it is spreading as disease which is worse than any other medical disease.   In India itself, people are with their smartphones 04Hrs a day, this is latest figure. We have just shunted our real life and real people and immersed ourselves in virtual world and people. We have started being with virtual world more than, reality around us, people being around or with us. This distraction has made us most disrespectful creatures. We don’t care what the other person sitting next to me or with me is saying as I am stuck into smartphone and the virtual world it has created for me. We are not realizing the dangerous drawbacks this distraction is resulting IN. Majorly, health issues like, eye sight going weak, headaches, backaches, losing interest in physical activities, mood swings, nausea etc.

We now need Digital Detox, rather than Body Detox. We need to get rid of this distraction and utilize our time in physical activities, being with our friends, loved ones and spending time with them.

Most of the relationships which are failing is because of Smartphones, this is creating sense of distrust in your partner, your partner is not having trust in you now because he/she feels that you are with someone else on phone and vice-versa. We have lost sense of Respect, we don’t care about other person who has come to meet us or is on table with us as we are busy with our phone and that person loses respect for you and vice-versa, if you have that sense of respect in you.

We need to stop this, what are we teaching to our future generations that cut off from the real world and get busy with virtual world. Don’t make real friends but spend time with virtual friends. We are doing so much harm to our children, by making them use Smartphones to play games etc., rather than letting them go in playground or to play with their friends. Now, don’t give me crappy excuse that we don’t have playgrounds. We, are generation of excuses, you ask it and I have it.

Technology is good, it is for our good and future, but don’t misuse it. Use Smartphones but don’t get addicted to it. As we all know Access Use for Everything or Anything is Bad. We need to use it wisely and smartly.

So, let’s make a pledge in 2018, that we will use our Smartphones in controlled manner, we will care about our relationships and friends and families and respect them. Let’s keep this Distraction aside when we are with family and friends, let’s use it when required not always. Give time to yourself, you need detox of mind and body to be fresh and to make your tomorrow better and brighter.