Suicide, death of a Soul

Suicide, death of a Soul

By: Masarrat A Shah                                                                                  

Post Picture: Google

Well, I am tired of this world, the people and the society. Everyone has got their own opinion and prejudice where they are not ready to accept me or listen to me or say understand me. Why should I live here, where no one is bothered of me being here or not?

Every day we hear the stories about Suicide, on news channels, in newspapers, on social media, and to my surprise we have seen people committing this extreme act LIVE on Facebook. I wonder what makes them do it, what is going through their mind at that time when they are making themselves, their body and their soul go through such a painful act or process. Do they listen to themselves, or do they pause for a moment and rethink about the consequences after this step is completed, will anyone be bothered, or am I hurting someone by making them part of this pain?

When an individual takes the step of ending his/her life and saying goodbye to people and loved ones and feeling pain and agony of leaving them, have anyone thought Why, this step. But yes, we hear the news and for few minutes we express sadness and empathy with that individual, and in a second thought we curse him/her. We start judging, saying that how cowardly act he/she did, a looser not able to handle the situation, rather than facing the consequences, the person took easier way to run away from the issues and life and left his loved ones to suffer. Well, most of the people say, why was not help asked, like psychiatrist, counselor and so on. He/she should have talked to someone rather than hanging or taking poison and so on.

But my question is who is responsible for this act of what you call cowardliness or being looser, who should we blame, is this blame going to only that individual who suffered so much and said enough is enough and I cannot handle it anymore. Who made him think that and act on it? Why was not anyone there to listen and care and guide him or her. Was there anyone to empathize, forget about sympathy? And I am sure the answer is “NO”. What we as people or society do is talk, talk and talk and pass comments and make judgments. We are so inhuman that we don’t even care to think before we say it.

If a person is happy and content with his or her life, why will there be a question or thought of ending life or being rejected by society. But what happens is when an individual goes thru hell because of another person then the issues arise. Everyone is stressed, angry, irritated and displeased with some or the other person in life. Whether it is love relationship, parent relationship, employee manager relationship, marriage problems and so on. Just because there is some disconnect and misunderstanding and miscommunication between two individuals there is a chaos. We are seeing everyday fights, abuses and what not happening in homes, offices and at workplaces. People being Judged, Racism, Bias, Cast attacks and what not. And there are people who handle it to some extent but at one point they loose it and water starts flowing over their head and where they start hating everything and when that brim of patience is broken, they either think to finish themselves or that person who is the reason for the whole mess. So, there is a trigger point, someone is taking that individual to that edge where the extreme step takes place of either Murder or Suicide, where I believe both of these are “Murders”.

So, who is responsible for this Murder in either case? Not that person but us as a society is responsible for a person to take such a heinous and extreme step. As a society we actual are murdering that person, where we say a suicide was committed. Now what happens people start, or law makers start looking for suicide note left behind by that person. Yes, we see and have seen and heard enough notes where the deceased had mentioned, “for my death no one is responsible, I am myself responsible for taking my life”, why does that person say that because he knows that there is no hope, who all will they punish where whole society is actually responsible for this crime, for this murder of me. He/she is done with the society and the fake empathy and kindness of people or who were “Loved Ones”.

We all are hypocrites, running from the reality and living in some fantasy world. Seeing movies and the glamorous life in reel life, we feel that’s the life we want and try to copy and live. But sorry friends that’s not the way we live, understand the real world. We all need respect, love and compassion. Our society and world needs peace and tranquillity where all live equally and there is no racism, bias and prejudice. Because of our inhumane attitude and loosing ourselves in virtual, social media and AI world we are losing our loved ones, our friends and dear ones. Stop this madness and love each other, talk to each other, show care and compassion and sort things rather than fight on things.  Everyone has trouble, issues and disagreements but they can be resolved and worked out if and only if we show real consciousness and compassion. Suicide is not a Solution; it is an easy way to end misery of life.

Well, yes, I want to live and be happy see the world and be successful person. Yes, I want to love and be loved with real passion and zeal. But don’t judge me, misunderstand me and leave to my own self. Please listen to me and try to talk to me, maybe we will find the solution, and which will support me to prove myself and be better human being, better person and make this world better and peaceful place. Show me some respect and you will get abundance in response. Lastly, I know suicide is crime, a sin, very ugly and heinous sin and I don’t want to take that step, but be there for me when I need and help me to understand rather than throwing me in my depressed hole where I have no one to listen and talk.

 

“The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” — Dalai Lama.

 

 

 

 

Life After Lockdown

As more and more Countries are opening up and easing the Lockdown and letting the economy get started with opening of businesses and industries with the realization that we cannot just sit locked forever as this invisible enemy is going to be with us for long and we have to start adapting to new changes and new way of life.

Now, we all are excited to get out of our dens and visit our favorite cafe’s, meet friends, be at work with colleagues and have that sip of morning coffee with them. Sounds exciting, but I want to say something which I feel is important for all, that is, ask yourself “What is Important for me?”.

Yes, before you get engrossed in your daily routine life think what is important for my life, is it my family, my health, my kids, my job, what matters to me. Doing the retrospect of importance then step out of your house and start new life. Because when you know what is important to you, then only you will take proper precaution and be mindful about how to keep yourself safe, because if you won’t, I am sure not today but someday you will be infected as no one is safe.

Be safe and stay alert for your family, kids, people who care for you. Most important for yourself, because if you are Infected everything you have around will be Affected. THINK….!

– Masarrat A Shah

#encouraging

My #BadManager

I am tired of my Manager, always doing micromanagement. I am done with my Boss and am going to talk to HR about the way employees are treated. My Manager is useless, he does not know anything and tries to expect us to do everything on time, does he know about what this work is all about, what process we follow. I am done, and putting down my papers, can’t work with such Manager and management like this.

So, have anyone of you also had such feelings and thoughts about your Manager or your Boss. I am sure yes, there are instances when you feel your boss is not doing justice to you and is expecting too much. We also feel that we are doing everything as expected for our job, but we don’t get full credit of that, or being a good employee have been never appreciated by Manager or management. This is true and honestly, even I have felt the same in my earlier days when I was new to the industry and corporate world. But, have we ever thought are we right in making such remarks or making judgment about our immediate boss. What if you were at their position and how you would have handled the situation which you are in, would you have done something different, well I doubt and depends on the situation.

We all sulk, crib and judge the other person who is managing you or you are reporting to, I can say 85% of employees are not happy with their management and there are various factors responsible for that which I will discuss in another article. But we have never tried to be in our Managers shoes and see things from his/her perspective, why because they are also answerable to someone and they do have their limitations.

So, here are few areas where we need to really work on and have focus to have good relationship with your Manager:

Communication:   Very fundamental principle in any relationship, is communication. Do we talk and discuss where we need to work on? If your Manager is not happy with your work or performance, did you ever spoke about it, did you tried to setup a One-on-One meeting with your Manager and discuss why he/she has this perception or what triggered this, your Manager is observing you, there may be instances where you may need to focus ON. So, start communicating about your performance once a month, get feedback how you are doing etc. and vice versa.

Visible: You are doing wonderful job, your peers are so happy with your work as you help them and share your expertise, the best thing, your Client appreciates your contribution, and you observe your Manager is not bothered about all this and when it comes to performance review you don’t get what was expected by you. Why, reason is you and only you, because you never highlighted your good work. When you are doing good work make it visible, show your Manager your initiatives what you do for team or when you get client appreciation share with your Manager, if its verbal appreciation, request for same on mail and forward that to your 1st Line and 2nd line Manager. This is called being in limelight, if I am doing good work why won’t I talk about that, you should.

Feedback:  Always ask for feedback from your peers, your stakeholders for you work who are involved in day to day business, Client, Management etc. who deal with you and know that you are contributing the best of knowledge and you are fit for your work. Make sure this feedback is in black&white and then share the same with your Manager.

Work/Data: We work so hard every day and make sure that we meet our deadlines and deliver on time. We make sure not or never to miss SLA’s and be the best of breed. But, do we keep track of our work, do we have our data points ready when appraisal time will come, and I can prove my work. I remember few years back when I was working for Dell, we had points system for all employees and at the end of the month top 50 employees were announced and among them top 10 were the best breed of that month. This one time I knew coming month I will be the No.1 and was waiting for the list to come out and flash on the board, I had my data points measured and had met all the points in metrics to have top spot, however when list was uploaded to my shock I was No.10, you can say wow still you made top 10. Na, wrong as I already said I had all my data points ready and I should be at Top of the list. You know I straight met with my Senior Delivery Manager and discussed about my rating for the month, he was so happy to see me and my passion, he made reporting team to re-look in whole list of 800 people and see where error has happened. And you know when new list was out, I was No.1 for that month.

So, how all this happened, I made sure I do the best of best. Worked in such a way so that no one questions my capability be it anyone. Always made point that my work speaks for me and most important my data points are ready with me.

Finally, we came to an end and what we learnt is, always note what you do and keep record of that. Most important always ask for feedback. When you set clear communication and expectations, make your work visible, like this we will never complain, or say my Manager is bad or he/she does not understand me, or is having undue expectations, or never appreciates my efforts. Remember, always your Manager is not wrong, you can be at fault too. You may be the best at your work but say you missed the SLA or you missed the timeline for presentation. Tomorrow you will be also Manager and managing employees, so imbibe above points and share the same with your direct employees.

Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners. …”

Busy, Busy and Busy…!

People say they are choked with work and don’t have time, always busy like crazy. Is this true?

I don’t think so, because if one knows how to manage their time and how to prioritize the work then no one can be busy . One should always know their priorities, everything one does may not have urgent priority as we think so. It’s human tendency to get stressed to see lot in plate and sometimes ending up doing nothing which turns in total chaos. So, always remember to :

  1. Have a list of things to do on daily basis written on notepad etc.
  2. Arrange the items in order of urgency or priority.
  3. Never jump from one item to another, always finish one and go to another.
  4. If you are good at multitasking, then do smaller items with least priority.
  5. Review your work which you have completed and move to another.
  6. Always read all your emails in your mailbox and keep to clean and tidy.
  7. Have sticky posts on your board and set them as visual board to have the idea of how much work is done and how is left, be Agile.
  8. Always have smile on face and be positive whether at work or doing other stuff apart from work, if you will work under stress it will get stuck.

These are few tips from my day to day life and the way I like to work. Hope you will start same way and see the change in your style of working.