Suicide, death of a Soul

Suicide, death of a Soul

By: Masarrat A Shah                                                                                  

Post Picture: Google

Well, I am tired of this world, the people and the society. Everyone has got their own opinion and prejudice where they are not ready to accept me or listen to me or say understand me. Why should I live here, where no one is bothered of me being here or not?

Every day we hear the stories about Suicide, on news channels, in newspapers, on social media, and to my surprise we have seen people committing this extreme act LIVE on Facebook. I wonder what makes them do it, what is going through their mind at that time when they are making themselves, their body and their soul go through such a painful act or process. Do they listen to themselves, or do they pause for a moment and rethink about the consequences after this step is completed, will anyone be bothered, or am I hurting someone by making them part of this pain?

When an individual takes the step of ending his/her life and saying goodbye to people and loved ones and feeling pain and agony of leaving them, have anyone thought Why, this step. But yes, we hear the news and for few minutes we express sadness and empathy with that individual, and in a second thought we curse him/her. We start judging, saying that how cowardly act he/she did, a looser not able to handle the situation, rather than facing the consequences, the person took easier way to run away from the issues and life and left his loved ones to suffer. Well, most of the people say, why was not help asked, like psychiatrist, counselor and so on. He/she should have talked to someone rather than hanging or taking poison and so on.

But my question is who is responsible for this act of what you call cowardliness or being looser, who should we blame, is this blame going to only that individual who suffered so much and said enough is enough and I cannot handle it anymore. Who made him think that and act on it? Why was not anyone there to listen and care and guide him or her. Was there anyone to empathize, forget about sympathy? And I am sure the answer is “NO”. What we as people or society do is talk, talk and talk and pass comments and make judgments. We are so inhuman that we don’t even care to think before we say it.

If a person is happy and content with his or her life, why will there be a question or thought of ending life or being rejected by society. But what happens is when an individual goes thru hell because of another person then the issues arise. Everyone is stressed, angry, irritated and displeased with some or the other person in life. Whether it is love relationship, parent relationship, employee manager relationship, marriage problems and so on. Just because there is some disconnect and misunderstanding and miscommunication between two individuals there is a chaos. We are seeing everyday fights, abuses and what not happening in homes, offices and at workplaces. People being Judged, Racism, Bias, Cast attacks and what not. And there are people who handle it to some extent but at one point they loose it and water starts flowing over their head and where they start hating everything and when that brim of patience is broken, they either think to finish themselves or that person who is the reason for the whole mess. So, there is a trigger point, someone is taking that individual to that edge where the extreme step takes place of either Murder or Suicide, where I believe both of these are “Murders”.

So, who is responsible for this Murder in either case? Not that person but us as a society is responsible for a person to take such a heinous and extreme step. As a society we actual are murdering that person, where we say a suicide was committed. Now what happens people start, or law makers start looking for suicide note left behind by that person. Yes, we see and have seen and heard enough notes where the deceased had mentioned, “for my death no one is responsible, I am myself responsible for taking my life”, why does that person say that because he knows that there is no hope, who all will they punish where whole society is actually responsible for this crime, for this murder of me. He/she is done with the society and the fake empathy and kindness of people or who were “Loved Ones”.

We all are hypocrites, running from the reality and living in some fantasy world. Seeing movies and the glamorous life in reel life, we feel that’s the life we want and try to copy and live. But sorry friends that’s not the way we live, understand the real world. We all need respect, love and compassion. Our society and world needs peace and tranquillity where all live equally and there is no racism, bias and prejudice. Because of our inhumane attitude and loosing ourselves in virtual, social media and AI world we are losing our loved ones, our friends and dear ones. Stop this madness and love each other, talk to each other, show care and compassion and sort things rather than fight on things.  Everyone has trouble, issues and disagreements but they can be resolved and worked out if and only if we show real consciousness and compassion. Suicide is not a Solution; it is an easy way to end misery of life.

Well, yes, I want to live and be happy see the world and be successful person. Yes, I want to love and be loved with real passion and zeal. But don’t judge me, misunderstand me and leave to my own self. Please listen to me and try to talk to me, maybe we will find the solution, and which will support me to prove myself and be better human being, better person and make this world better and peaceful place. Show me some respect and you will get abundance in response. Lastly, I know suicide is crime, a sin, very ugly and heinous sin and I don’t want to take that step, but be there for me when I need and help me to understand rather than throwing me in my depressed hole where I have no one to listen and talk.

 

“The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” — Dalai Lama.

 

 

 

 

Life After Lockdown

As more and more Countries are opening up and easing the Lockdown and letting the economy get started with opening of businesses and industries with the realization that we cannot just sit locked forever as this invisible enemy is going to be with us for long and we have to start adapting to new changes and new way of life.

Now, we all are excited to get out of our dens and visit our favorite cafe’s, meet friends, be at work with colleagues and have that sip of morning coffee with them. Sounds exciting, but I want to say something which I feel is important for all, that is, ask yourself “What is Important for me?”.

Yes, before you get engrossed in your daily routine life think what is important for my life, is it my family, my health, my kids, my job, what matters to me. Doing the retrospect of importance then step out of your house and start new life. Because when you know what is important to you, then only you will take proper precaution and be mindful about how to keep yourself safe, because if you won’t, I am sure not today but someday you will be infected as no one is safe.

Be safe and stay alert for your family, kids, people who care for you. Most important for yourself, because if you are Infected everything you have around will be Affected. THINK….!

– Masarrat A Shah

#encouraging

Selfish Son

Selfish Son  – By Masarrat A Shah

Abdul, in his late 40’s parked in a couch and in a deep thought. Thinking about how his life turned upside down in just a year. How things changed forever around him and he is left alone.

It was a quiet Sunday and sky was cloudy as it will rain anytime soon. Abdul is in Hospital where he gets news that his wife succumbed to Cancer. He is crushed and is crying holding 2 of his kids, suddenly whole world came crashing on him. His Kids crying and saying what will we do now without Mummy,

Back to his thoughts and talking to himself, “I am so alone, and every day is miserable without you. I look on these walls and they are haunting me, everything is so empty without you, why did you leave us, why?  How will I manage Kids and everything?”

Son: Enters Room and sits next to his father.

“Dad, what will we do now, how will we manage”, I am missing mummy.”

Abdul: You don’t need to worry about anything, remember now onwards, I am your Dad and I am also your Mummy. We will manage everything, remember if we become weak and loose, people will take advantage of that, do you understand what I am saying.

Son: Yes, Dad. Don’t worry I will be strong.

Abdul: Good, that’s my boy.

After few months, Abdul is sitting in his office and working as usual, going on with his life and routine. One of his colleagues enquirers, how are you doing. Sorry to hear about your loss.

Abdul: That’s alright, you cannot change the fate. It was supposed to happen, and I was prepared for it.

Colleague: You are strong indeed, btw, how are kids doing. They will be missing their mother. It is tough for them.

Abdul: Yea, very tough. But I am there for them and will take care, as I was when she was sick.

Colleague: Can I suggest something if you agree.

Abdul: What?

Colleague: You are young and whole life is in front of you, kids are also growing, and they need both the parents.

Abdul: What are you trying to suggest me?

Colleague: Why don’t you give a thought about remarriage; I am not saying immediately but just give a thought and see if you … maybe you will find someone who will take care of you and kids.

Abdul: Not sure, and it’s too early.

Colleague: I understand, just had a thought rest all is up to you. Take care.

Abdul while at home, having tea after a long day at work is thinking about what his colleague suggested with him at work about remarrying. He is giving it serious thought but don’t want to decide anything without talking to his kids.

Abdul: At dinner table and having dinner with his kids.

“I need talk about something to you both, it’s just a thought, OK”.

Kids: Okay, what is it?

Abdul: You see, I was doing a lot of thinking and had suggestion from my friends about … mmmm about getting married again. Because you guys need mother and someone who can take care of home.

Son: No, we don’t need any stranger to come and take place of our mother, we can manage ourselves. We don’t need new Mummy. And no one can replace her.

Abdul: I understand but say tomorrow when you guys will be busy with your life and work and family, I may need someone to talk to, share my daily stuff. Don’t you think so.

Son: Do you understand what these new Mothers do, they break the family, one of my friend has gone through this and he is now living with his grandparents. He lost his Dad and his home, everything.

Abdul: Everyone is not same, there are exceptions.

Son: In this area, they all are same, either they will come with their own children or will have and will care about their own ones and we will become strangers to step children, I don’t accept that and will never let that happen in our lives.

Dad why are you worried. You have us and we will take care of you, don’t you trust us, and we will live happily.

Abdul: I trust you and love you both. Ok, as you both say I won’t think about remarrying again. I have you and we have us.

After few years. Abdul has grown old and is just struggling with things, is retired now and sitting at home. Kids have grown and are busy with their lives, wife work etc. He feels alone and is sometimes scared to ask for help or anything from his Son etc. He does not have anyone to talk to.

Abdul: listen I have to see a doctor today; will you come early from office and take me to the clinic.

Son: Dad, I will try but as you know I am very busy.

Abdul: that’s alright, I will manage myself. (Man, thinks wish I had remarried, atleast my wife would have been here to take care of me and at least give me company).

After few months, Son realizes his father is struggling with various things, and he needs someone to be with him.

“I was so selfish, now I am realizing that we should have let Dad remarry, he would have someone to be at his side and take care of him. We all become selfish at every step of life and try to play safe so that we don’t get affected.  At that time did we thought about our loved ones what they will be going through. We always think about ourselves and want our happiness, jeopardizing the life and happiness of others and in my case, my father”.

We should always keep in mind that they also deserve to live and be happy, if your Parents can sacrifice their life for your happiness, why can’t you.

At the end I want to say only one thing “Live and Let Live”, it’s easy to think about ourselves, be selfish and avoid odd situations, but we have to think what the situation for them in future will be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My #BadManager

I am tired of my Manager, always doing micromanagement. I am done with my Boss and am going to talk to HR about the way employees are treated. My Manager is useless, he does not know anything and tries to expect us to do everything on time, does he know about what this work is all about, what process we follow. I am done, and putting down my papers, can’t work with such Manager and management like this.

So, have anyone of you also had such feelings and thoughts about your Manager or your Boss. I am sure yes, there are instances when you feel your boss is not doing justice to you and is expecting too much. We also feel that we are doing everything as expected for our job, but we don’t get full credit of that, or being a good employee have been never appreciated by Manager or management. This is true and honestly, even I have felt the same in my earlier days when I was new to the industry and corporate world. But, have we ever thought are we right in making such remarks or making judgment about our immediate boss. What if you were at their position and how you would have handled the situation which you are in, would you have done something different, well I doubt and depends on the situation.

We all sulk, crib and judge the other person who is managing you or you are reporting to, I can say 85% of employees are not happy with their management and there are various factors responsible for that which I will discuss in another article. But we have never tried to be in our Managers shoes and see things from his/her perspective, why because they are also answerable to someone and they do have their limitations.

So, here are few areas where we need to really work on and have focus to have good relationship with your Manager:

Communication:   Very fundamental principle in any relationship, is communication. Do we talk and discuss where we need to work on? If your Manager is not happy with your work or performance, did you ever spoke about it, did you tried to setup a One-on-One meeting with your Manager and discuss why he/she has this perception or what triggered this, your Manager is observing you, there may be instances where you may need to focus ON. So, start communicating about your performance once a month, get feedback how you are doing etc. and vice versa.

Visible: You are doing wonderful job, your peers are so happy with your work as you help them and share your expertise, the best thing, your Client appreciates your contribution, and you observe your Manager is not bothered about all this and when it comes to performance review you don’t get what was expected by you. Why, reason is you and only you, because you never highlighted your good work. When you are doing good work make it visible, show your Manager your initiatives what you do for team or when you get client appreciation share with your Manager, if its verbal appreciation, request for same on mail and forward that to your 1st Line and 2nd line Manager. This is called being in limelight, if I am doing good work why won’t I talk about that, you should.

Feedback:  Always ask for feedback from your peers, your stakeholders for you work who are involved in day to day business, Client, Management etc. who deal with you and know that you are contributing the best of knowledge and you are fit for your work. Make sure this feedback is in black&white and then share the same with your Manager.

Work/Data: We work so hard every day and make sure that we meet our deadlines and deliver on time. We make sure not or never to miss SLA’s and be the best of breed. But, do we keep track of our work, do we have our data points ready when appraisal time will come, and I can prove my work. I remember few years back when I was working for Dell, we had points system for all employees and at the end of the month top 50 employees were announced and among them top 10 were the best breed of that month. This one time I knew coming month I will be the No.1 and was waiting for the list to come out and flash on the board, I had my data points measured and had met all the points in metrics to have top spot, however when list was uploaded to my shock I was No.10, you can say wow still you made top 10. Na, wrong as I already said I had all my data points ready and I should be at Top of the list. You know I straight met with my Senior Delivery Manager and discussed about my rating for the month, he was so happy to see me and my passion, he made reporting team to re-look in whole list of 800 people and see where error has happened. And you know when new list was out, I was No.1 for that month.

So, how all this happened, I made sure I do the best of best. Worked in such a way so that no one questions my capability be it anyone. Always made point that my work speaks for me and most important my data points are ready with me.

Finally, we came to an end and what we learnt is, always note what you do and keep record of that. Most important always ask for feedback. When you set clear communication and expectations, make your work visible, like this we will never complain, or say my Manager is bad or he/she does not understand me, or is having undue expectations, or never appreciates my efforts. Remember, always your Manager is not wrong, you can be at fault too. You may be the best at your work but say you missed the SLA or you missed the timeline for presentation. Tomorrow you will be also Manager and managing employees, so imbibe above points and share the same with your direct employees.

Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners. …”

You and Your Personality

We talk a lot about individuals personality, whether our friends, colleagues or even about your folks. All individuals differ at personality level, some are extrovert, some introvert and so on. Moreover, people do sometimes judge one another on basis of one’s persona.

How many of us know that what type of person I am, does an individual know about his real personality or who that person is. There are n number of questions which comes in mind when one thinks on this subject. There are individuals who are not aware of themselves at all, and they come to know about their personality from another person. Most of the times when one faces their own analysis on personality, they try to differ or disagree, or they don’t want to face their real side as how they actual look to the society or to the people.

Nowadays, we see lot of personality tests on web, where you answer few questions and get to know what you are or what type of individual you are, “if you answer them with your gut feeling and are honest”, rest analysis will do its work and come to conclusion about your persona trait. These tests assess your personality traits and how you think about things and how you react to certain situations. As per Wikipedia the first personality assessment measures were developed in the 1920s and this was mainly introduced for armed forces. Since these early efforts, a wide variety of questionnaires have been introduced and developed including the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI), the Sixteen Personality Factor Questionnaire (16PF), the Comrey Personality Scales (CPS), among many others.[10][11] Although popular especially among personnel consultants, the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) has numerous psychometric deficiencies. More recently, a number of instruments based on the Five Factor Model of personality have been constructed such as the Revised NEO Personality Inventory.However, the Big Five and related Five Factor Model have been challenged for accounting for less than two-thirds of the known trait variance in the normal personality sphere alone.

According to me I prefer MBTI or Myers-Briggs Type Indicator most, I tried myself and found that my personality falls under ENTJ-A. You know, it’s good to know about your personality and very much aware of your strengths and weakness. If one really works on personality on areas where weakness is on higher side then it can change his way of life, the way one thinks or works or most important interacts with others. It can boost individual’s confidence and morale and can achieve the best in life.

Now, should we all try these Personality Assessments and see where we are and how are as an individual, I say yes absolutely we should go for it. Should we start putting our Personality Status on our resumes to let the hiring department know about us, so that they know what type of person they are hiring or will give them fair idea. I think we should put this status or mark on our CV’s like other details and feel proud about it. It will help people to know you more and interact at your intellect level.

Sensitive and Emotional

People say, to be Sensitive and Emotional is negative trait of a person. But, I say being Sensitive and Emotional is very positive trait of a person. Having such a trait makes him/her understand more about other individuals is more understanding, helpful, caring, mentor and successful Leader. – Masarrat

#leadership #mentoring #sensitivity #emotionalintelligence #succe #individualization #negations #quotations #optimism #positivepsychology

Game Of “Thrones”, Or “Survival”!

New Technology and New Flaws, everyday we see “n” number of products being launched, companies are competing with each other to remain stable in the market. It’s like a game or a race, Game of Survival, Survival of the Best. There is no time for a Product Company to sit back and relax and watch its product for few years to see how it is doing. They cannot have that liberty now, if you are relaxing, next moment your competitor will take over and your product will be out of the market, so will be your company.

Now, the question is how is this race proceeding, are these products really good to compete in the market be it mobile phones, cars, or any other product. When Samsung launched Galaxy Note7, it was a WOW thing but because of the battery issue they had to recall the product from the market and as a user I will say they failed their customers, there market image got setback. According to the electronic giant, around 500,000 replacements happened which is huge. Recent survey was done and the results foreshadow tougher times for Samsung after the 1 million-phone recall, which analysts predict could cost the world’s biggest smartphone seller $904 million.

Now, in this race #Apple is never behind of #Samsung, they are launching new series of phones and recent one is “x” series. So, what do we expect from this product, how are consumers looking at it, are they flawless and with no issues, maybe or maybe not, fingers crossed J.

According to me keeping in mind this mad race of survival, companies are loosing on Quality and Testing. Are they really checking and monitoring the products before throwing them into consumer’s hands and making sure it really works? Who is responsible for this mess? From couple of years we have seen products being recalled because of tiny issues which end up in havoc, like from automobile industry Toyota, Volkswagen, Honda,  and yes Tesla and Mercedes are not behind, recalling their cars because of various issues.

Why is this madness, why can’t they do a proper Test and Quality check on the Product before launching it in the market. What this all is  resulting in, Customer Dissatisfaction and loosing loyal consumers and clients, Brand Image Crash and making the Competitor WIN the Game, Game Of Survival.

“Play to win, not “not to lose”.”

Do comment about your thoughts, and what you feel is the main issue on the Products Failure.